"But I don't want to look like a Bridezilla!"

Dundee wedding cake - Forbes of Kingennie

“But I don’t want to be a Bridezilla!”

That is the exact statement when I was going over some finer details with a bride who has me booked for an all day wedding.

The conversation that led to this: Me suggesting that she phoned the venue and gave the co-ordinator a verbal kick up the back side when she mentioned how the venue weren’t very good at responding to e-mail or getting details of the wedding timeline to her.

Read that again: This bride is being given the run around by her venue and she feels like she’s in the wrong to chase them up…

The venue is undoubtedly (unless you’re going on some mega bespoke honeymoon of course) going to be by far your biggest cost in the wedding – ours is going to cost close to 50% of our budget I reckon… and my poor client thinks she’ll be branded a bridezilla if she phones the person, whose job it is let’s not forget, to keep her informed on all of the details at their end so myself and other suppliers can give her as smooth a wedding day as possible.

That’s just wrong on so many levels and then it got me to thinking – I’m being pretty hands on with my own wedding. Partly because I know a lot more about the ins and outs of the wedding industry than my fiancé and partly because she’s more of a “let’s look at centrepieces on Pinterest before we’ve booked our celebrant” type of bride to be (jokes – love you future Mrs Party DJ  x ) and I can kind of see where she’s coming from.

I’ve got a few friends DJing my wedding – I’m doing my best not to fall into the megalomaniac trap of having it be like one of my gigs so I’m leaving them to their own devices as much as possible but if I ask them to do a little bit of this, announce that, put a mix together or use a particular set up of theirs that I like – does that make me a groomzilla?

When booking the videographer I probably came across as quite blunt. My thought process was – when people come to me I like things to be smooth and tied up quickly, not rolling into weeks of missed e-mails and repeating the same info over and over so I was firing them short bursts of questions and following them up with some more. When is the balance due? Do you issue a contract? What if you’re ill? It probably saved them a lot of reading a trying to figure out exactly what I wanted to know but it probably seemed like I was a bit rude and didn’t want to engage with them – does that make me a groomzilla?

I have a good friend who runs a photography business doing my photos – he got the same: Contract? Deposit? When’s the balance due? Do you only shoot in black and white – I love your stuff but some colour would be nice… - does that make me a groomzilla?

A lot of people would probably argue that yes it does but if they haud their horses for a millisecond: This is my wedding. I’m not making outrageous demands on my suppliers and I’m letting them know my expectations crystal clearly.

To me, I’m not a groomzilla, I’m just someone that is on the ball and wants to make sure I get the best service and a nice drama free wedding from the run up to it until the aftersales.

Bride and grooms shouldn’t be scared of contacting or asking their supplier for things – the way I look at it is that I’m your employee from the moment of booking until I’ve uploaded your videos and sent a feedback request form so if I get an e-mail from you at 3 in the morning when I’m on the way home from a gig asking if I can change the colour of moodlighting you’ve selected – I’ll respond to you there and then, it’s really not a problem and most suppliers are the same.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some suppliers who don’t want to provide you with any real level of service – cash is king and the more time and energy they spend on you, the less their take home seems. Some even verge on being belligerent towards clients in general – I once saw a photo booth operator turn her back to a bride and continue packing things into bags because she wanted to get home shape whilst the bride tried to thank her for a job well done!

So they are out there but most wedding suppliers are decent, hardworking people who are immensely proud of their business and are only too happy to help you in whatever way you can so please don’t be scared to reach out and let them know if you have any questions, worries, issues or even random flights of fancy – it’s much better for everyone to be on the same page and working co-operatively – bride and groom, venue, suppliers – than all working to their own agendas.

Love and peace.


#bridezilla #weddingplanning

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